Rain

Studio creativity has been paused today due to the rain. There was quite a bit I planned to get done today, but it will have to wait.

Clearly, I needed to pause. I started my day with coffee and perusing social media for headlines. I updated the coffee-themed group my sister and I have.

And I listened as it started to rain.

At first, it was just little droplets touching the kitchen window. For a few moments, a heavier outpouring provided a bass line for the roof. The skies then imparted a steady, even rain, allowing the grass to soak in its richness and vitality.

It truly is a beautiful sound. The rhythm of droplets hitting an empty pot, and others splashing in the puddles that have been accumulating. It’s restorative and allows me to think and to wonder.

I don’t think we always allow ourselves the space and time to do just that, to pause. To take it all in and allow our minds to be still, yet contemplative. It’s a moment to reflect and find gratitude within the droplets of rain as they spatter about.

For some, rain is annoying and irritable and all things negative. For me, it cleanses the soul and allows for fresh starts and new awakenings.

Today when you pause, please take a moment to reflect, remember and honor the fallen; the soldiers who did not make it home to reunite with their families and loved ones. If it weren’t for them, we might not be able to stop, pause, and enjoy the rain.

Silver Linings

I really got back to throwing clay today. It was SO incredibly liberating to sit at my wheel and create things from a lump of clay. It’s freeing. Grounding. Satisfying. And while I jump back into my artist life attempting to get caught up and finish things I should’ve finished MONTHS ago, something came to mind.

Healing is hard.

It’s no joke. The destruction of a relationship, no matter from what angle you stand, is an ending that many individuals are not always ready for. There are questions and answers that you have to figure out on your own and with a great deal of self-reliance. Healing is hard when you want to just stay in bed, under the covers, and not take part in the day that is starting.

There are a lot of ‘selfs’ … reliance, loathing, caring, consciousness, harm … I’ve visited them all in the past 10 months. More than once. I suppose it is the time spent on processing that helps us heal. Revisiting moments that you might not want to remember. Questioning the motives, reliving scenes like your mind is your own private cinema. Constantly asking why everything had to happen the way it did. Why me?

But you take steps. Little ones and big ones. Many steps forward and sometimes, the steps go backwards. Fact of life.

I however, take solace in believing every step I take is a triumph that moves me forward. Every step I am a bit more aware of who I am, what I want from life, and how I will get there. Every step is a reminder to find gratitude in the challenges I face everyday. There are silver linings. I get to see them everyday when I think of the things I am thankful for. I am quite pleased with the direction I’m going. And ever-loving thankful for the persons in my life sharing this path with me.

If you would, please find a moment to look up the song, All that Matters, sung by Christina Perri. It is from the musical Finding Neverland. While I’ve not seen the show, the music speaks to me. This song in particular, stands out.

all that matters now
is where we go from here
there’s an easier way if we live for today
to find that all we are, is all that matters

Go out there and find your silver linings. We all have them. We just have to look a little harder than we thought once in a while. And it’s SO worth it.

Healing

Sometimes, when we try new things, we unwittingly realize that particular choice probably wasn’t the best for the long-term. It may be a great deal or a wonderful opportunity, but that doesn’t mean it’s the path for you in the long run. Couple that with the process of healing, and you find things out about yourself very quickly.

I quit grad school.

Yup! I quit. Last Sunday night. The multiple levels of stress washed away like a river. I walked away. I was giddy and smiley, but more importantly, I was more at peace with myself.

Even though the tuition was free and there could be benefits from having a master’s degree. I am OK with it.  The few classes I took served their purpose as a way to get my mind off of the upheaval life threw at me at the beginning of the year.

I am still learning about what makes me happy. I think it’s a constant evolution throughout different stages of life, but I learned being a maker is vital to my creative spirit. I had to step back from my business while shuffling through homework, work, single-mom life and caretaker, and the whole time something was missing.

Well, it won’t be missing anymore.

The garage has been cleaned and rearranged. I got rid of more things that were impeding my creativity and made myself a new space to work from.

Fuck yeah… am I excited. This afternoon will be the first I’ve done work since the spring. The possibilities are endless.

I do have a couple shows coming up!
Saturday, November 16th 10-5
Candy Cane Lane Craft & Gift Show
Downtown Clermont

Orlando Pottery Festival 9th Annual Holiday & Arts Market
Saturday November 30th 9-5
Sunday, December 1st 12-4
National Guard Armory
2809 S. Ferncreek Ave.
Orlando, FL 32806

Please come out and see me!

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